Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
