It's Friday. Sex?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
