there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize