Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You can't just leave with hair like that
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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