dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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