she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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