come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
