Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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