I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
