I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
