Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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