Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
