she woke up with a sticky ear
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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