she was so not down for the gang bang
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And then he peed in my hair
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