I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
