U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
