Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
