Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
