Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
