hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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