Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
