I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
