Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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