If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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