So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
