if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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