For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
