I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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