Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
