yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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