Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
