I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
