I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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