If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
