just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
that may or may not have been my penis.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
