I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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