Someone shit on the floor
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
