Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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