Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
