She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm sobbing to NWA
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
