Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
