We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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