No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
this just has baby written all over it
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
