I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
another moral hangover. fuck.
Please, let me fuck your mom
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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