um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
