Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
