Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
