You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
