Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
