I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What a dumb baby whore.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
