Swine flu is the new snow day.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize