you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i think i have two assholes
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
