Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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