At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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