I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
