yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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