It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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