Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
