i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
