he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
