Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
